Recently I started to feel a lot of anxiety.
I used to have to have a lot of things in mind, read a lot every day, keep myself updated on almost every skill I have.
This implies my hobbies as well. You know, videogames, anime, listen to every new metal band, and of course add new hobbies to the list.
For more than 10 years I was feeling the necessity of constant input stream. Some times I was nervous about “losing my way”.
So I started to just leave things, the first thing I needed to get rid off was social pressure. As stupid as it sounds, having nothing to say during social interactions may feel very uncomfortable.
At the begining I feel a lot of pressure to interact with other people, sitting in silence was very difficult to me after years sharing my interests with people and getting input from them.
But the more I shared and get to know about others opinions, likes and passions the less sense of individuality I feel. My microcosmos was dissapearing and with the passing of years, every feeling that conformed my personality was absolutely a distant echo.
What about my first years as an individual, the curiosity, the need to know more about things.
And of course the concentration that only brings passion.
Now, my only input from the outside world is that than I can get from books.
I started to unsubscribe myself from every single network I was and attending only to vital matters from my contacts and friends.